The worrier

I have always been a worrier, in fact, that has been what has kept me as a pretty
"safe" person. I don't take a lot of risks. I worry about what others will think, I worry about the outcome of my actions, I worry about how my actions will affect others. I worry about everything. I didn't think it could get any worse. Enter Jude. Having a baby has brought about another whole bundle of worry. I think about him constantly and even when I get 10 minutes to myself, I can't help but worry about him. This has come to light recently because we are starting to transition him to his own bed (crib). Up until this point he has slept with us and I have loved every second of it. I know that it was the right decision, it helped him sleep, helped me sleep and really built the bond between he and I. It was also an excellent help with middle of the night breast-feeding. But Jason and I decided that it was time to transition him to his own bed. Jude is doing great, I'm the wreck. We began this on Monday night and he stayed in his crib until 3am. On Tuesday - Thursday night he made it until 4am. It's a little harder on me because of the middle of the night feedings, I can't just roll over any more but Jude is doing great, drinking his milk then falling right back to sleep. But I can't help but worry. I get up at least once a night to check if he is still breathing (despite having a very sensitive monitor). I have to admit that I really miss having him curled up right next to me, but he's fine, I'm the one who's a mess. When he was sleeping with us, he would sleep from 10 until 6 without waking but now that he's in his own bed, he wants a middle of the night nightcap! Hopefully he will start sleeping all the way through the night again soon, I'm tired!