The worrier

I have always been a worrier, in fact, that has been what has kept me as a pretty
"safe" person. I don't take a lot of risks. I worry about what others will think, I worry about the outcome of my actions, I worry about how my actions will affect others. I worry about everything. I didn't think it could get any worse. Enter Jude. Having a baby has brought about another whole bundle of worry. I think about him constantly and even when I get 10 minutes to myself, I can't help but worry about him. This has come to light recently because we are starting to transition him to his own bed (crib). Up until this point he has slept with us and I have loved every second of it. I know that it was the right decision, it helped him sleep, helped me sleep and really built the bond between he and I. It was also an excellent help with middle of the night breast-feeding. But Jason and I decided that it was time to transition him to his own bed. Jude is doing great, I'm the wreck. We began this on Monday night and he stayed in his crib until 3am. On Tuesday - Thursday night he made it until 4am. It's a little harder on me because of the middle of the night feedings, I can't just roll over any more but Jude is doing great, drinking his milk then falling right back to sleep. But I can't help but worry. I get up at least once a night to check if he is still breathing (despite having a very sensitive monitor). I have to admit that I really miss having him curled up right next to me, but he's fine, I'm the one who's a mess. When he was sleeping with us, he would sleep from 10 until 6 without waking but now that he's in his own bed, he wants a middle of the night nightcap! Hopefully he will start sleeping all the way through the night again soon, I'm tired!

Building my stash

For all you CDers out there (cloth diapering moms), you know what a stash is. Up until this point, we have been using a diaper service, which I must say is awesome! It recently occurred to me that one of the main reasons we decided to use cloth was to save money and by using a service we weren't really saving that much (other than the environment). I added up the cost of using the service until Jude is 3, plus the unknown number of months for any subsequent children and discovered that it was quite a large sum of money. This began my search for information about owning our own diaper stash. I began by sending out e-mails to some of the other crunchy mamas I know looking for used CDs (I know it sounds kinda gross but they really are clean). I got quite the response and began building up my collection. I have also been referred to a number of websites that sell used, new, and seconds. We are on our last week of the diaper service so I've been preparing my diapers for their debut next week. Yesterday I washed and dried all of the new dipes and here is a picture of my beginning stash!

Up until this point we have only been using prefolds with covers but I am so excited to try some other options. Because the prefolds are the most economical, we still have mostly these but we also bought a few fitteds, pockets, and all-in-ones. I'm excited to try them out to see which we like best. I'll keep you updated!

It's been a long time

I apologize for not writing sooner, it has been a little hectic around here but things are starting to slow down. I've decided to change the name of this blog because I want to write about a more expansive list of things in my life, not just about being healthy. Not to worry though, I'm still working on that one. I do find that I tend to stray from my healthy goals but I always find my way back, it's a never ending battle. I am doing great with the no HFCS goal, it is actually pretty easy to do. The more troubling goal is to cut down on my sugar intake. I'm doing pretty well but it's so easy to mess up, sugar is EVERYWHERE. So I'm starting with just trying to really cut back on sweets and added sugar. If I can get a handle on this, I'll start working toward the more hidden sugars. I'm trying to work on moderation, this is a hard one for me because I love to go at things with gusto but I think that's why I never completely win. Anyway, I wanted to change the title of this blog because I think my goals to become a more "crunchy" (for lack of a better word) mama more accurately describes my day to day life. I am currently working on getting my new cloth diaper stash ready to go, more on that later!